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Hedgehogs: The Spiky Little Garden Warriors Fighting for Survival
Hedgehogs. They’re basically the British countryside’s equivalent of a tank—covered in armor, slightly grumpy, and built for survival. They’re practically a national treasure, appearing on mugs, t-shirts, and cushions. And yet, despite being one of the most iconic creatures in the UK, they’re vanishing faster than my patience in a queue for an artisanal coffee at a Christmas market.
Once upon a time, these prickly little beasts roamed gardens, parks, and hedgerows in their millions. Now? Good luck spotting one. You’ve got a better chance of finding a solicitor who answers a question directly. But why? Well, because we humans have made an absolute hash of things, paving over their habitats, spraying their food with chemicals, and sealing off gardens with impassable fortresses of fencing. Fortunately, if you’re willing to make a few changes, you can turn your garden into a hedgehog paradise. But first, let’s understand what these spiky warriors actually do all year.
Spring: The Great Hedgehog Reawakening
After months of snoozing through Britain’s miserable, soggy winter, hedgehogs emerge from hibernation thin, hungry, and frankly, a bit grumpy. They’ve been running on empty for a while, and now it’s time to eat everything in sight—insects, worms, fallen berries, even the occasional bird egg if they get lucky.
Spring also marks the start of hedgehog mating season, which, if you’ve never witnessed it, looks like a slightly awkward, snorting, huffing standoff. The male spends hours circling the female in an elaborate courtship dance, while she makes an absolute racket. If you hear snuffling noises in your garden at night, it’s either a hedgehog love story unfolding or you’ve left the wheelie bin open again.
And here’s the kicker: hedgehogs are not the faithful type. Both males and females are about as monogamous as a rock star on tour, and a single litter of hoglets can have multiple fathers.
Summer: Hoglets, Nesting, and the Mysterious Foam Party
By early summer, the female hedgehog is single-handedly raising her litter of tiny, blind, spike-free hoglets. Meanwhile, the males have vanished, presumably off to start another family elsewhere, leaving mum to do all the hard work.
For the first few weeks, hoglets stay in the nest, being fed, fussed over, and growing their first spines. By six weeks old, they’re kicked out into the big wide world, where they immediately start stuffing their faces and learning the fine art of rolling quickly into a ball when things go wrong.
And then there’s self-anointing—a bizarre behaviour where hedgehogs suddenly start foaming at the mouth and licking themselves. Nobody really knows why they do it. Some scientists think it’s a form of camouflage, others reckon it’s to impress a mate. Personally, I think they’ve just discovered the taste of beer in a slug trap.
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Autumn: The Final Feast Before Hibernation
By September, hedgehogs are in full-on panic mode. Winter is coming, and they need to fatten up fast. This is the time when they’re most likely to visit gardens, sniffing out whatever they can find before the temperature drops.
And yet, some people still put out bread and milk for them. I’m sorry, but that’s the hedgehog equivalent of serving King Charles & Camilla a pot noodle. Bread is useless, and milk just gives them a stomach ache due to their lactose intolerance. If you want to help, put out some hedgehog food or kitten biscuits and a shallow bowl of water. Simple.
At this time of year, hedgehogs also start building their winter fortress—a hibernation nest called a hibernacula. These are not the flimsy, last-minute summer nests they threw together in June. No, this is a proper bunker, reinforced, packed with leaves, grass, and whatever else they can scavenge. If you really want to be a hedgehog hero, stick or better yet build a hedgehog house in your garden. They’ll love you forever.
Winter: The Big Sleep
As the nights get colder and the insect buffet dries up, hedgehogs do the only sensible thing: they disappear for months and sleep through the worst of it. Sounds like a pretty solid plan, if you ask me.
Their body temperature plummets, their heart rate slows to just a few beats per minute, and they enter a state of near-complete shutdown—which, frankly, sounds a lot like me after devouring a whole duty free sized Toblerone.
They’ll wake up occasionally if the weather warms up, but ideally, they’ll stay tucked away in their hibernation nest until March or April, when they’ll emerge, hungry and grumpy all over again.
How to Turn Your Garden into a Hedgehog Haven
If you’ve got even a scrap of empathy for these incredible little garden warriors, there are a few things you can do to help them out:
Create hedgehog highways
Cut a small gap (13cm x 13cm) in your fences so they can move between gardens. Think of it as a VIP entrance for hedgehogs.
Ditch the slug pellets
Seriously. They poison the very things hedgehogs eat. It’s like offering someone a sandwich and then kicking them in the shins.
Leave out proper food
Wet cat/dog food or dry kitten biscuits, specialist hedgehog food, and a shallow bowl of water. No milk. No bread. No nonsense.
Check your bonfires
A big pile of wood and leaves looks like a cozy hedgehog hotel. Always check underneath before lighting.
Build a hedgehog house
Or just leave a pile of logs and leaves in a quiet corner. The spiky tenants will move in rent-free.
Hedgehog-friendly pond!
If you have a pond, make sure there’s a gentle slope or escape route to prevent them from falling in and drowning
Let Your Garden Grow Wild!
A perfectly manicured lawn might look nice, but to a hedgehog, it’s a barren wasteland. Leave an area of your garden a little overgrown with long grass, wildflowers, and shrubs—this creates a natural hunting ground full of insects, slugs, and other tasty treats. Plus, it’s less work for you! Win-win.
Final Thoughts: Hedgehogs Need Our Help
Hedgehogs are one of the greatest things about British wildlife—tough, independent, and endlessly fascinating. But thanks to habitat destruction, pesticides, and human carelessness, their numbers are crashing.
The good news? You can help. A few small changes in your garden can make a huge difference. And honestly, wouldn’t it be nice to see more of these spiky little beasts snuffling around at night instead of just printed on your novelty tea towel?
Now, go forth and make your garden hedgehog-friendly. Because if they disappear, Britain is going to be a much duller place.
